29 September, 2012

A Token

I put you away for safe keeping, locked in side my heart, in  there you will remain, never will we part.
And yet I must go on, my life to carry on,
New places and new people, a chance to live a chance to love, he is a prayer answered from above, a blessing that I long to say to, though crazy , strange and true,  I am in love with you.

Can love be defined?

Emotions running wild, what people risk and give up in the name of love, how many countless songs singing praises, and it's wrongs, does it do it justice?
Love returned and shared, or halved and too much to bare, telling another of your soul and hearts desires, that it is they who light that fire and ignite the flame, but when if it's not returned you feel shame, broken and in pain...
Powerful emotions, that brings us together and tears us apart
Powerful, it makes strong men weak, and weak men strong, the greatest joy yet can cause the deepest heart ache and sorrow.
Love is more than just words, it's more than can be defined in the dictionary, it's more than just what is shared between family.
Love of life, of hearth and home, jobs, and places, people, love is transcending always moving and never ending, revolving and evolving, changing with tides, touching lives in different ways. Sometimes it goes sometimes it stays, and always sad when it strays, never the same more than once, different things to all of us.
tiresome and confounding, and yet still astounding and intense, sometimes it makes no sense.
A smile, a thought, a whisper and shout, a cry a laugh, a cascade of flowing emotions bundled together.
A special person that touches your soul, makes you feel more whole,
Like, love, hate, lust, excitement ,contentment,adventurous, pure, all rolled into one, and that feeling perhaps this time life has truly begun.


Useless people, where they should not be , always watching never have a moment free.
Useless time, better spent, learn to cope and vent
Useless thoughts go astray,Ideas unheard fade away, wistful wishes, dreams by day, minds unused wasting away.
Useless knowledge,  what a fool, read write, go to school.
Useless life, is that me, it is not what I want to be.


23 September, 2012

What I want Vs What I need

What I want is a man who will love me for who I am, and who I can be,
What I need is a man who can be a friend,lover, partner, playmate, soulmate, father figure for my children.
What I want is someone who smiles when he thinks of me, who cares for me as I care them
What I need is reassurance that my thoughts, feelings and emotions and ideas matter and are important  to them
What I want, someone who will not judge me, who will let me make my own choices,
What I need is someone to guide me, stand beside me and take pride in my accomplishments,
What I want is someone to have fun with, someone to be serious with,
What I need is someone to be myself with
What I want is someone who will talk to me, someone who will listen,
What I need is someone to hold me when I am feeling down,
What I want is someone to laugh and cry with, to share my thoughts, hopes and dreams with,
What I need is someone to share themselves with me,
What I want is to be needed
What I need is to be loved,
What I want is someone with personality, unique and mysterious, charming and true,
what I need.... is YOU.


Remember Me

Though you can't see or touch me,
Know I am there
Remember me in your heart,
Know that I care.
Look up to the sky and find a star,
Now close your eyes and wish!
It's then that you'll feel me.
A soft wind brushes hair from your face,
gentle whisper of "I love you"
I am here, and as long as you remember me in your heart,
I Will always be near.

2007 RBH

Confusion and Fear

Confusion and fear when you are near
Heart Flutters, mind clutters
I smile at the toughts...
Heart and mind not one
Agree and disagree
What are you to me or I too you?
Where the path leads, I have not a clue
2008 RBH

The worst Weapon of Mass Destruction used on A Single Individual

WORDS!  Words are our most powerful weapon and defense, sometimes a weak defense..
Words have the power to enlighten, impassion, and implore, words have the power to lift you higher, our send you to the lowest of the low..
Chose your words wisely, and your tone  carefully, for the same words that can make a person sing with joy, if tone is off can cause a person to cry..
Three wrods can make your day or break your heart.. think about it..


It was clear as day, I thought I knew what I wanted and who,
but it turned cloudy when I looked your way, I saw your  eyes, and was blown away.
Emotions and feelings of devotion, smiles shared and stories too, how could this be it was meant to be HE..
Time went by and soon I knew, it was not him, but always YOU...


When an opportunity arises for you to be happy grab that chance and go, be do!
Seldom do we get another chance at that opportunity. And who knows, it may turn out to be the best thing in your life!


I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt
you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over
the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them and less to do
with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
 sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. 

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...

That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when
a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
1 1. Sharing a milkshake with someone special.
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
2 1 . Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
3 1 . Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change(good or bad)
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41 . Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing no matter what anyone thinks.
45. Knowing that someone loves you.
46. Kissing in the rain.
47. Waking up to person you love every morning.
48. Driving with the top down

18 September, 2012

Does He Know

 In quiet contemplation sit gazing at the candle , the flame dances
Images flicker though my mind as thoughts of him burn through me.
Does he know my inner most desire?
 Can he know that when I dream it's his face I see
His grin teasing and mischievous, reflected in his grey eyes
An embrace  warm and inviting, a comfortable place and yet more
 Can he see the flame that burns in my soul ,
He has heard the whispered I love you,
  I dare not risk what we share now, it is a precious thing
To lose him altogether would be more than I could bare
 Perhaps in time he may  return my affections
But for now I sit in quiet contemplation wondering if he knows the depth of mine ?

2002 RBH


To trust again, it’s hard to do, how do you let go of fear and anxiety.. How can you begin to tell another what makes you you , without worry.. I don;t know that I ever can, not worry I mean, but slowly I can trust.. after all I trust you.. And I think you feel the same, which makes me smile and gives me hope..
Take it ,One day, one step, slowly, cautiously forward and again there is hope
Perhaps we are not as damaged or broken as we think.
  • The high cost of health care is making me sick!

    I am one of millions without adequate or any health insurance, and yet I have health problems that require monthly prescriptions.Today I was SHOCKED into reality.. I can't afford to stay healthy!

    I went to pick up my prescriptions only to be told that there are no generics for the medications I have been prescribed, that the total of two prescriptions was going to be.. drum roll please... 260 Dollars!!

    WTF?? I can hardly afford the other prescriptions which are only 36 a month!! Imagine 2 prescriptions costing the price of a Nintendo Wii every month.. Needless to say... I did not pick up the one prescription which came to 175 Dollars!!!

    Insurance from the place I am employed would cost me 600 a pay check (yes that's 1200 a month) Between doctors visits and the medications it would not pay for it's self either way....
    The high cost of health care is making me sick!
  • The Stupidity of Smart people or Ouch that Smarts

    Last year I was in the hospital several times for the same issue, KIDNEY STONES.  The first go round I knew what I had, but no one told me what to do about them so I went about my wicked ways..
    The next time I was caught off guard, no pain, just a pressure in my groin that on CT revealed the Grand-daddy  of stones along with his little brother, too long a stay in hospital and several operations later come to find out that my Urologist left the small stone in..   I had been told several possible causes and placed on a vegan diet.. Well Vegetarian was bad enough but Vegan was HORRIBLE  but I stuck to it for a long time, then I found out  about the doc leaving the 9 MM stone inside, and that at some point I would have to go through all that AGAIN!!
    SO here comes my stupidity, I have been told not to have anything that swims, flys, walks or crawls, hops, jumps basically NO MEAT, also no animal by byproduct such as dairy yadda yadda..
    OK so like I said did that , and lost weight felt bleh... when I found out about the other stone stopped listing to doc and went off the meat wagon as it were.

    So When will I learn, WHY do I do this to myself, I have passed several stones since then and it seems every other month I am in agony , do I want sympathy? No it's self inflicted and todays bout is worse than ever, bringing me home from work early having me drinking gallons of water, pacing and taking showers so hot they could boil a lobster.. and so knowing that I can't eat meat anymore or should really cut down.. what I want to know is WHY.. why do people knowingly do things they know will hurt themselves..I know someone who will say because they are stupid, and perhaps he would be right, but I do not think that is the case, at least not all the time, and not the only reason.
    So Why?? Why do we hurt ourselves?

The Meaning Of The Blue Rose

            The Meaning Of The Blue Rose

The Meaning Of The Blue Rose
Blue roses exist in fantasy but not in nature. The blue rose symbolizes the unattainable or impossible.