What should never be, but already is

Never meant to be read, random thoughts in my head, thoughts of you and me, thoughts of where I'd like to be.

Concerts, songs, sing a longs, random dribble!

Feelings behind a damn, they burst and they ran like flood waters over me washing me away.

Random thoughts, strong feelings,  crying into the night, love hurts, and you don't even know,you have  no idea you hurt me so.. Because you just don't know, I will not tell you ,I will not speak,  you do not need to know I am so weak.

You do not need to feel the guilt, for you are not guilty, I let my heart run wild.  You did not encourage me, nor dissuade, you told the truth, as I bade.

And still I  sang, like the bird and made that confession, I know you heard.

Confused, my heart already bruised, I opened up to you, and welcomed anew.

Random thoughts, dreams and cares. Unique and shining, from  my thoughts you do not pass.

I said it once and it was true, you know that I love you, in all this time this feeling has not passed, it seems very much to last.  From my mind I can not chase, nor from my heart you erase.

Random thoughts, always of you, images and feelings so honest and true, I want to tell you again I love you,  but do I dare? I think you know, in fact I bet you do, I more than care.. I am in love with you.

Never meant to be read the random thoughts from my head, not so random feelings, left unsaid.

Remembrances

I remember you and the way you made me feel,

Your blue eyes, and crooked smile made my heart skip a beat.

Your voice, music to my ears, my name whispered on your lips

enticing, inviting and invigorating

I remember you, and how you intoxicated my soul ,

my last thought as I drifted to sleep, my first thought in the morning.

Your wicked humor and brilliant mind, never changing, always the same 

always adventurous, never tame.

I remember  that relaxed excited feeling, you sent shivers down my spine,

the look in your eyes as I sat at your feet, entranced , and yours completely,

Do with me what you will, masterful and in charge.

No expectations, long and deep conversations, souls, hearts and hands entwined I was yours, you were mine, I remember you.

Memories sometimes so vivid, I can hear your voice, feel your breath on my neck, your lips brushing mine, crushing with a hunger that only I could fill.. I wonder if you hunger still.

RBH

Does He Know

 In quiet contemplation sit gazing at the candle , the flame dances

Images flicker though my mind as thoughts of him burn through me.

Does he know my inner most desire?

 Can he know that when I dream it's his face I see

His grin teasing and mischievous, reflected in his grey eyes

An embrace  warm and inviting, a comfortable place and yet more

 Can he see the flame that burns in my soul ,

He has heard the whispered I love you,

  I dare not risk what we share now, it is a precious thing

To lose him altogether would be more than I could bare

 Perhaps in time he may  return my affections

But for now I sit in quiet contemplation wondering if he knows the depth of mine ?

2002 RBH